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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

You Don't Realize How Strong a Person is Until You See Them at Their Weakest Moment...


Loosing weight is so much harder than gaining it. I feel like I can gain a pound in one day but take a week to lose it.

That's really where I realize that it is so important for me to set realistic goals. 1-3 lbs/week. NOT 5-6 lbs/week!! That is not healthy, at least not without proper supervision (and I'm too broke for that). But I also make achieving that goal an everyday goal. Especially when I think about what I am eating. My friend said "I should really learn to pray for my food, so at least I will think twice about what I am about to eat". 

If anything this process has taught me to know my limits. No starving myself and no excessive amounts of exercise. Moderation is key!! Too much of anything is not good. My funny moment of the week was when I had already ran my miles on the treadmill and did my circuit training and then I tried to do an hour on the elliptical. I let out a big "WHEW!!" right at the 20 minute mark. I literally thought to myself "Giiiirl, you crazy". It's ok to laugh at yourself. Just take a step back and reevaluate. People always say "listen to your body" and my body was def saying "get me the hell off this machine. I am tired!"

The biggest lifestyle change that I have noticed in myself is the fact that I now realize that rewards don't always have to come in the form of food.

All the money that I used to spend on fast food and uselessness I now spend on things that benefit me. Fun teas and smoothie makers. Cute workout clothes and shoes. I even spend more money on my hair and appearance. When you feel good about yourself you tend to spend more time taking care of yourself. 

Even with my family. We always loved each other with food, now we love each other in other ways. My little brother goes with me to the gym or my little sister and I check out new movies or do our nails. It was never about the food, but about the time we spend together. Stopping my addiction---that is something I am learning.

I have lived my life on faith. I have followed a path of faith. Yet one of the hardest things to do is to have faith in myself. I really am my biggest critic and no one can get in my head better than me. So now that I am here and at this phase in my life I have to face myself. I need to believe in me.

Reflection can be a good way to start. I get empowered thinking about my friends and family and all that they have conquered:

Car accidents that should have taken a life but left them stronger than before
Staying in or stepping out of a relationship that took so much
Raising a child as a single parent
Facing the death of a sibling or friend
Facing the death of a parent
Sexual assault
Verbal and physical abuse
Cancer, diseases, physical disabilities and conditions
Social status and poverty
A parent letting you down
Even eating disorders

I know there are so many more, but this week I have really stopped to think about how these individuals have faced such life-changing experiences and survived. It gives me the motivation to face my own past and a reassurance of knowing "I will survive".

I have to learn to be happy with myself as I am now. I read the little tab on my Yogi tea and it said "Whatever you are, you are. Our challenge is learning to be proud of it."  And it's so true. I am me. I love me. I am just learning to cherish me enough to take care of me.

There are so many lessons that I have yet to learn. But even just this one year out of school I can see how much I've grown as a person. My parents get smarter every day---now that I can appreciate the advice that they give.

I asked people to tell me all the things that they want to change about themselves. The list was vast: my body, my confidence, I hate that I procrastinate, I hate the way I look, my ears, my nose, my relationship (or lack there of), my boobs and so on…

There are some things that we want so badly and we either don't know how to get them or we don't see how we can ever get them.

Really the beauty in life is being able to experience yourself. There is such a thing as over focusing. I realize I have spent far too much time focusing on negative things and what I don’t like instead of the great things and what I do well. Do not waste your life over focusing.

Just breathe. Live. Don't dwell.

I know. It's easier said than done.

But as you learn to have faith in your own wisdom and knowledge those three little tasks will get easier.

Trust me.

If you are still following the road to running 2 miles:

MW RUN 7 minutes WALK 3 minutes x3
TTh WALK A BRISK 30 minutes
F RUN 3 minutes WALK 2 minutes x6
Sat WALK A BRISK 30 minutes
Current weight: 208 lbs
Workout Song: Girls Aloud, SEXY! NO NO NO

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