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Monday, March 21, 2011

He's Just Not That Into You

I have a love/hate relationship with cheesy chick flicks.

I hate that I love them. I hate that they are so bad, yet so good. FML.

I am currently sitting in a Panera and am the only one around (other than the employees) under the age of 65 and I find myself avoiding what I am supposed to be doing by watching He's Just Not That Into You.

And I used to think that I loved this movie. That finally there was a movie giving it to you like it really is. I mean being blunt and honest, that's kind of my thing.

But then I watched it again (and again).

Reality has finally hit. These chick flicks, that I love, ALWAYS end the same. Justin Long falls in love with the girl and he really was looking for love. Ben and Jen finally get married after a 7 year relationship. Bradley Cooper, though extremely hot, is a jerk and loses both girls in the end. Gag. 

This just does not happen. Life is not a When Harry Met Sally, The Notebook and it's definitely not Pretty Woman (that might not be the best example, but you get what I mean). We live in real life, not a movie. 

So what now I'm just supposed to turn from every guy who doesn't like me?
Uh. Yeah.
There's not gonna be anybody left.

As I watch/ed the movie I have so many AHA moments it's crazy.  Personally, I appreciated the exception theory.

What Alex tells Gigi seems so obvious, right and true---or so I thought. What he says is something that is so hard for me to get across to my friends. No matter what you think he's going through or thinking, if he's not coming after you he probably doesn't like you. Done. Final. End. MOVE ON.

SO many times girls LOVE to dwell. Not gonna lie, I do love a little drama in my life. When you have something and someone to talk about you automatically seem so much more interesting.

I mean who really wants to gossip about how great your boyfriend is? BORING! Other girls want to hear that "he's unattached" "not committing" "seems so busy and possibly seeing another girl" and whatever else they're doing that we don’t want them to be doing; all while building the anticipation to the resolution (breakup, makeup or fight).

Some times I think I have such an imagination that I could live out an entire relationship seeing only what I want to see. I could skip every flag and signal if I wanted. In fact, if I am being honest with you all, I have.

My first relationship was just that. Me making it all up. I reflect on it and read those little girly journal entries that we write when we're young and na├»ve (or when we're 22... same difference). I was SO dumb. He obviously wasn't that into me. He obviously had tried to break it off a few times (by no means is he innocent), but let's be honest with ourselves… WE ARE PART TO BLAME FOR THE END OF EVERY RELATIONSHIP. Relationships that should have ended so long ago, but we keep them going because we love the excitement.

Since that first heart break I now pride myself on being able to (or at least try to) find the clues and signals.

How stupid is it that a girl has to wait for a guy's call anyway, right?

Usually,  I will not call or text a guy unless he calls me first. Why?? Because if you stop imagining what you're wedding will look like and open up your eyes you can plainly see what he means. The earliest I will call a guy is 5 days and by then he's probably moved on. Thank God for texting. You can say "hey" and still save a little face. Yup, guilty.

I know that it's so much more difficult to tell what he means. Maybe because I'm a girl, but I feel like I know exactly what a girls means when she says something without even thinking about it. When a guy says something, annoyingly, I have to actually think about it.  And I am assuming this is reversed for guys. We are all a little dense---but that's by choice. We are too busy hearing what we want to hear. He didn't forget your number. He didn't get eaten by a lion. Honey, he isn't that into you.

I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are.

As I write this I wonder how many more times I will do stupid little things and how many more times I will break my own rules before what I say actually sinks in...

I understand the general message of the movie. Ladies, guys are simple and they mean what they do (not say). If he likes you he will come after you.

He's not interested or  he's totally gonna call you

I am not so realistic (or pessimistic) to think that the world is black and white. Everyone is different. Some guys get busy, really they do. Some guys just don’t know if you are into them, really they need to be told. But my point is play it cool. No matter where you are in life, you still have you. There is no reason to be desperate and exhaust yourself over guys. I am not telling you to write off everyone based around little rules (well I guess I sort of am), but really my point is to play it cool. The sexiest thing about a girl (or so I hear) is her confidence.

So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions.

So though I know life isn't a movie, it won't stop me from watching unrealistic chick flicks and loving them (secretly hoping life does end up that way). I am just learning to be wiser and less obsessive.

Besides, I am something to be worked for.

 I am somebody's exception.

Current weight: 208
Workout Song: The Fray- Absolute

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